Monday, November 10, 2008

Musings on Fear and Personal Inhibitions

Well that's enough pictures for now. I actually feel like writing about something interesting and useful at the moment. So, we'll give it a try and see what happens...

Lately I'm feeling what I may dub the "mid-semester blues" where I feel bored and unmotivated by school work. I guess being a senior also amplifies the feelings of laziness or the lack of care that I usually put into my school labors. For the first time in my life, I haven't cared so much if I don't get all A's in my classes. In fact, I'd be fine with anything B and above.

The main reason for this mindset, I believe, is the exciting opportunities on the horizon. There are SO many new things I want to start, yet I feel like I'm being "held-back" by my graduation date. I find myself constantly thinking, "I'll start after I graduate". And then my very next thought (and fear) is what if I reach graduation and then think "I'll start once Trevor's done with school and we can move out of Utah". And then what if I keep pushing back the "start" date until I never do those things I want to do?

But what are these goals and new adventures, you ask? Well, for one, I would really like to start a business (whether my own or a franchise) in the very near future. My top priority would be to franchise in Utah my Dad's company back in Raleigh called White Dahlia. It's a massage and wellness studio and I think the business is just fantastic! I think about doing it every day and most days I get REALLY excited about it. But on occasion those silly little doubts start to creep in. I fear that the business will fail and I will be the cause of some great financial crisis for our family. And then, not to mention, a business loan would be 100% impossible for Trevor and me to get right now, especially since we own nothing expensive enough to be used as collateral. We could get a co-signer, but then I'd feel like that's one more person I'd be letting down if I failed.

But today in my Entrepreneurial Lecture Series, as I was pondering my fear of failure, the guest speaker professed some timely advice. He said that successful entrepreneurs are not afraid to fail. Failures are going to happen. It's what we do with those failures and how we go on after failing that makes the difference.

So now I just have to get past the inhibitions I place on myself every hour of every day. Why can't I begin doing research on local Utah markets NOW? I can! But I keep saying "after graduation, after graduation!" But where to start? Whom to consult? Who can help me learn whether people in Alpine and Highland would be willing to pay $38 dollars for a membership to a massage and wellness studio? How can I collect this data? Where to even begin?

And somehow I convince myself that I have "no time" when I have ample time, I just waste it. How does one find proactivity when it has been lost in procrastination for so long?

So how do you get yourself off the sofa and out from behind the books and force yourself into the big, scary "real world" that the grown-ups bemoaned for the entirety of your childhood?

You tell me, because I'd really like to know.
Complacency is becoming quite boring...

3 comments:

  1. Wow... I loved the post! :) You need to write about how you feel more often.

    You can do anything you want to!

    I love you.

    -Trevor

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  2. WOW...I feel ya! You put in words what I am feeling too. It is a weird feeling being so ready to graduate, but so unsure of what that even means. I think you should start that business that you love. Talk to Stephanie...she works at a company where they give people loans to start up their business. No matter what happens, you are going to do well at whatever you do in life.

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  3. Alex - I hear ya! I have been there and done that...the laziness and lack of motivation. As for business, you should be taking a business class that will help with the research portion. Ask your dad for my final presentation that I did. You are welcome to gleam some ideas from that. Go out and do it.

    Anna

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